First born child: The travail

 I went out to grab something, and as I walked into our compound, I noticed my next-door neighbor's three children outside. The oldest was putting away the clothes that their mother had washed earlier in the day. She was also assisting the other two siblings with their assignments at the same time. 

While passing I thought about the struggles of being the firstborn; The duty, parents and society's high expectations are all so great that if one isn't careful, they lose their willpower and simply do what is required of them. I'm sure she had her own assignments that she'd have to complete almost entirely on her own.

Parents sometimes hold their firstborn children up as role models for their younger siblings, which can be a lot of pressure. They are expected to mature into more responsible individuals at an earlier age than other children. Some of the challenges and stressors that first-borns face are:

* They are occasionally chastised or yelled at for anything the younger children have done incorrectly, they constantly hear words like "where were you when..." or "why did you allow..." As a firstborn, I believe our parents forget that we are just as much children as our younger siblings. What difference does it make if you're a year or two older?

* They are expected to teach stuff they were not taught and had to figure out on their own. Isn't that cheating?!

* It's exhausting and frustrating to be constantly reminded of your responsibilities. For example, I can't tell you how many times my father told me as a kid that "firstborn isn't for enjoyment alone, it's for responsibility" and I couldn't even point to any special thing I was enjoying as a first born at that time.

* And, once you start earning money, you must meet all of your siblings' demands, regardless of whether you have any because you are the bigger person in their eyes, and money shouldn't be an issue for you.

These and other factors contribute to the tendency of first-borns to be perfectionists; they were raised with the expectation that they should always know what to do, with no space for mistakes, and that everything must be perfect. Instead of continuously berating a firstborn for not doing something perfectly, commend them for putting in the work next time.

Do you have a younger sibling? Have you ever had to take care of them? Or do you think the pressure/responsiblity is not much of a big deal?